Dom Rejection Letter
Dear [____rejectee' s name here_____], Sir:
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further
contention as my perfect Master. As You are probably aware, the
competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified
candidates such as Yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will,
however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So
that You may find better success in Your future sub/slave endeavors,
please allow me to graciously offer the following reason(s) You were
disqualified from the competition:
[Check all those that apply]
___ Your breasts are bigger than mine.
___ Your nickname is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it,
hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at
McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.
___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload"
indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my
personality.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked You 20 questions
about Yourself before You asked me one.
___ Your legs are skinnier than mine. If You can FIT into my pants,
then you can't GET into my pants or me out of them.
___ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you girl?" comment, given the
9-months pregnant size of Your beer gut, was inappropriate.
___ You failed the credit check.
___ I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
___ The fact that Your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent
slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
___ The phrase "My last slave" has popped up far too often in
conversation.
___ You still live with your parents.
___ You mention your ex-slave's name more than you mention mine.
___ Three words: Size does matter.
Sincerely,
[Your name here]