Domina's D/s Humor Page |
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Things you don't want to hear your top say when you are naked and tied upby T*Anonymous#1: "Um, I *think* I have another key around here somewhere..." |
#9: "Did I mention we're on camera and this is going on
my interactive website?" #10 "Safeword? Um, what's a safeword?" #11 "And this is my German Shepherd, Ralph. I know you'll just love Ralph." #12 "Oh fuck. You *can* untie yourself from up there, right?" #13 "Oh shit. You do know CPR, don't you?" #14 "Heh heh heh. You didn't tell anybody else you were coming here, did you?" #15 "I do too know what I'm doing. I've read five whole Gor novels!" #16 "Now, where DID I put that extra attachment for the chainsaw?" #17 "Uh oh. If this is the tube of Superglue, where's the KY?" #18 "Did I ever mention that little fantasy I have about the tennis balls?" #19 "Lie very, very still and keep your body temperature low. It turns me on." #20 "Oh, um, hello, Officer." #21 "My real name? It's Bates. By the way, I'd like you to meet Mother." #22 "No, really. Trust me. I saw this work in a movie once." #23 "You *said* you could service my pussy.....c'mere, Fluffy." #24 "You like my straitjacket? Cool; I'm glad they let me keep it." #25 "Phn'glui mgwlnath Cthulu R'lyeh." #26 "I did mention I was a devout worshipper of Huitzilopochtli, didn't I?" #27 "I did mention I was a devout worshipper of Kali-Ma, didn't I?" #28 "Oh mighty Azathoth, accept this sacrifice I offer to You...." #29 "I'm sorry. Are the voices in my head bothering you?" #30 "Groovy. This crop leaves colored trails in the air when I swing it." #31 "Well golly gee! This is more fun than pullin' the wings off-a butterflies!" #32 "Dang it, this is more fun than settin' cats on fire!" #33 "You don't need a safeword; I'm psychic. My spirit guides tell me what to do." #34 "You don't need a safeword; it's groovy. I'll just watch your mood ring." #35 "Oh, um, hi Mom. We were just, um, uh....." #36 "I'm not crazy. Yes I am. Shut up, all of you." #37 "Um, I forgot - which one of us was supposed to be the dom?" #38 "Heh heh. Look, Beavis, a tied up naked chick. Now what do we do?" #39 "I'm not really a mad scientist. I just want to see what happens." #40 "I promised no permanent marks, but I bet I can sew that back on." #41 "You don't need a safeword; I'm a True Master. I've read ALL the Gor books!" #42 "You don't need safewords; I'm a True Mistress. I have WEEKS of experience." #43 "I don't use safewords; I'm Betazoid. I look human so They won't get me. Shh." #44 "Uh oh. I think it's stuck there." #45 "I always keep the speculum in the freezer. It's more fun that way." #46 "If it doesn't fit, it just needs more Crisco. Where did I put that football?" #47 "Don't worry if your hands go numb. You won't be needing those." #48 "Did I mention my crucifixion fetish? Now, where did I put those nails..." #49 "No one understands me. That's why I killed her." #50 "Bye. I'm taking off for the weekend. Isn't suspension bondage fun?" #51 "Oops. It escaped. I think I see it slithering off in the corner." #52 "Darn it, where DID my pet tarantula get to?" #53 "Did I mention I'm a narcoleptic?" #54 "You know, the Marquis de Sade was a pansy." |