The Top Ten Worst Safewords

This list was thought up by Screamer who's web page has moved.  If you know how to contact her, please send me email.

Top Ten Worst Safewords

  1. Ouch!
  2. No!
  3. "Can't you hit any harder than that?"
  4. "You hit like a girl."
  5. "I'm pregnant." (works relatively well for male submissives)
  6. "Did I tell you your mother called?"
  7. "Have you started yet?"
  8. "I felt a breeze - did you leave the door open?"
  9. "I'm not a baseball, you know."
  10. "Are those police lights outside?"

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You Know You're Kinky When...

You hear about a Bridal Fashion Show to be held in your town, and you think, "Cool! I've always wanted to see what pony gear looks like ON someone!"
Your entire Music collection consists of music you can Scene to.
You give a new song a rating of 65....it's got a good beat and you can squirm to it.
You start to salivate and get aroused as you pass the local candle factory.
You always smell like Yankee Candle's Scent-Of-The-Month.
Canning season gets you *really* excited.
You see a sign in front of a house that reads, Chairs Caned, and you think to yourself, "Gee, some people are BLATANT about being out. YKIOKIJNMK"
You see a sign in front of a house that reads, Chairs Caned, and you stop to see if the poor Dom/me needs a PERSON to cane.
Citibank calls you because someone used your credit card to make a huge purchase at a tack shop in another state, and they know that you live in a metropolitan area and don't own a horse.
You make your vacation destination decisions based on that area's Assault and Battery, Consent, and Sexual Deviance laws.
Your Avon Representative politely informs you that the company has no plans to make that Eau de Leather scent you have been pestering them about.
Your idea of Fantasy Island looks far more like "Exit to Eden" than anything they showed on TV.
They know you by name, size, and favorite colors at *four* local leather shops.
You need an 18-wheeler to haul all your toys to a party.
Your son's Boy Scout Troop thinks you are way cool because you helped them earn their merit badge for knot tying.


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