Domina's D/S Humor Page

I didn't write these jokes, though I'm responsible for contibutions to some of the multi authored ones. As far as I know, there are no restrictions on using or passing around any of these. If you know that one of these jokes is copyrighted or infringes on anyone's copyright in any way, PLEASE let me know, and I'll remove it immediately.

As far as male bashing or female bashing jokes. Just don't read them if you'll be offended. There is a little grain of truth in any sexual joke. I happen to like them. Eventually they will get their own section, but right now, I'm mixing them in here.
The cat humor is at the bottom of the page.  Our total household number of cats is three, two of them black, only one of whom can be classified as "normal," and all of whom have their own little kinks.  It's tell cat jokes or go crazy here.   They are set off on their own at the bottom of the page.  Send me email if you know of any other good ones.


If you'd like to submit any jokes to us, please do. Additions are always fun to have.

Please Send Us E-Mail

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a t-shirt covered with bloodstains, you have a bigger problem than just laundry.

Jerry Seinfeld     

Copyright Myths Explained (Please read this if you plan on using articles from various web sites on the internet.  ESPECIALLY if you plan on borrowing from my website.)    


Dominant Jokes

Memo From the Dom Council
Dom School by PHinCA
The Ten Most Common Doms on AOL sent by my friend Alannah
Dominatr.exe by Michael C.
How to Be a ROD by Pam (
Things You Don't Want to Hear A Dominant Say (When You are Naked and Tied Up) By T*Anonymous (Used by permission)
Addendum to: The Real Dom Test The Demon Prince added several zingers to the original list.
You Just Might Be a Redneck Master
Managed Dominance Author Unknown
Dom Rejection Letter  Author Unknown
A List of Clues For Cyber Doms Who Want to Impress Subs by Pam (
Real Dom(me)s (not written by Domina)

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Submissive Jokes

Alkallah's Site by Pam ( Since so many of the jokes here turn out to be hers, I'll just send you directly to her site!  Great lady, and check out the fiction and essays, too.
You Just Might be a Redneck Sub
You Just Might be a Submissive
Trashy Submissve
24/7 Slave Tech Support
27 Submissive Postures (by an older submissive)
SubTalk by Kelly
The True Sub       
Letter from a Submissive Male
by Unknown
Top Ten Nicknames for a Femsub by the Demon Prince  
Real Subs (not written by Domina)
A Submissive's Blackboard Lessons  by Torms Tiara
The Seven Most Common Subs on AOL sent by my friend, Alannah
Fifteen Rule I Learned the Hard Way  by Hayden
20 Reasons Why It's Good Not to be Sub Anymore by PHinCA and Corri (Used By Permission of the Authors)
The Not-So-Submissive Submissive's Handbookby Sucre11981 and Jillian (used by permission of the Authors)
General BDSM Jokes
DommeZilla's Thoughts On Decorating and Accessorizing With D/s Implements(The Quintessential domme wannabe
The Cat in the Hood by Leviticus  (If you have an email for Leviticus, please let me know)
Get to Know Our Staff A lighthearted tale of how the staff of the Frugal Domme met
BDSM Purity Test
Vanilla-isms by Lady Green (permission applied for)
The Three Great Lies of S/M by Jay Wiseman, Lady Green, Dale, et al. Used by permission of Jay Wiseman
Realistic Cybersex
Southern Baptist Submission
15 Signs You're a Pervert From Somewhere on the Net
The Heterosexual Questionnaire Origin Unknown. It's about time hets took a long hard look at their orientation.
The Goddess Prayer
News Flash From God Author Unknown
Top Ten Ways to Tell You May be Too Old for BDSM by Screamer, LadyNapa, WickdVixen and others at NapaFest 1998.
You Know You're Kinky When...
The Top Ten Worst Safewords by Screamer
Top Ten Tips for Anal Play by the Demon Prince. Used by Permission
Master/Slave Humor by Tristilarn (if you have an email for Tristilarn, please send it to me.)
Candlewax Tech Support by DominicL (used by permission)
The Christian Hanky Code 

Male/Female Jokes

Simple Rules Chicks Don't Know
Seminars For Men Unknown Author. Not D/s, I just like both sides of this joke.
Seminars For Women Unknown Author. Not D/s, I can see myself here in places.
Gender Based English
Advice For the Bride on Her Wedding Night Author Unknown
Hazardous Materials Warning--W.O.M.A.N. Author Unknown
Why Chocolate is Better Than a Man Author Unknown
The Real Woman's Dictionary
How to Shower Like a Woman
How to Shower Like a Man
The Men's Version of "The Rules"
If She Had a Dick for a Day
Relationship Contract Not a BDSM Joke, but hits home.
Sexual Horoscope
When Sex Doesn't Count
If Men Could Menstruate
Microsoft Sex

Gay/Lesbian Jokes

Do Unnatural Acts Cause Natural Disasters?


Jokes About Cats
(this is so that those of you who hate cats can skip them)

Catster: the site for cat lovers

 C.A.T. Owners Manual Another non-BDSM joke, but too funny to resist. (Author Unknown (If you own the rights and want it credited or want it removed from this page, please let me know.)
Cats are Computers?
A Cat's Guide to Humans

What is A Cat? Author Unknown
Cat Laws  Serena Du Bois
How to Give a Cat a Pill
Pet Rules (Author Unknown)


Jokes About Religion

A Heavenly/Divine Customer Service Survey  


General Humor

Inner Strength (new)  The author is unknown.  If you can put me in touch with him./her I would appreciate it.  Thanks.
You know You're Living in 2005 When (author unknown.  Please let me know if you know him/her)
Deep Thoughts for Those Who Take Life Too Seriously (author unknown)

Want to meet Domina's Cats?


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Dom School

by PHinCA (used by permission)

Have you ever wanted to have women at your beck and call?
Ever wanted to have sex without all of that annoying cuddling?


That's right! For limited time we will train you in all of the finer aspects of Domination. Some, but definitely not all of the points we will cover are:

1. What color outfit should you wear to be a Dom? ( you will just have to wait for the class to find that out, sorry)

2. Where to find those submissive little fillies just waiting for a man like you!

3. How to say those special things in a Domly voice, such as, Spread 'em now, sl*t!

4. Our special whipping class featuring DomMiaCulpa who will be speaking on "Making sure the sub doesn't move when ya hit her, or you could get sued, really!" We are very proud he is back with his mom and able to join us this time..Welcome DomMia!

5. How to make the sub do all of the things we haven't covered in this first session...Featuring the always flexible Sheldon, "I can tie myself up and whip myself, can you?" Bumfuchs.....

6. And a new class this year...and yes, this is just and experiment.......Fire play and self bondage...we know that it sounds difficult but we think that if we all cooperate we can do this.

7. How to master everything....and how to bluff i you forget something. "No, I said you were supposed to untie your self, unlock the closet, let yourself out, and follow me to the market..Don't you subs ever listen?"" I never said I would be right back!!!

8. How to punish effectively..(this class has been cut down to one hour because last year after we covered the obvious 'hit 'em' we just sat around for a long time and missed some important stuff.)

9. How to choose your subs..****hint*****they should be very new and live alone!

10. And most importantly...we are the only Dom school with our very own Help line...This year it is manned by DomMia and his elderly mother. Dom Mia has graciously agreed to host this hot line since that new jewelry on his ankle keeps him from leaving home. Thanks to DomMia and Mis Gertrude, hope your bum is better now! Call 1-900-DOM DOWN and ask for DomMia if Gerti doesn't seem to understand your question.