Domina's D/S Humor
I didn't write these jokes, though I'm responsible for
contibutions to some of the multi authored ones. As far as I know, there are no
restrictions on using or passing around any of these. If you know that one of these jokes
is copyrighted or infringes on anyone's copyright in any way, PLEASE let me know, and I'll
remove it immediately.
|As far as male bashing or female bashing jokes. Just
don't read them if you'll be offended. There is a little grain of truth in any sexual
joke. I happen to like them. Eventually they will get their own section, but right now,
I'm mixing them in here.
|The cat humor is at the bottom of the page. Our
total household number of cats is three, two of them black, only one of whom can be
classified as "normal," and all of whom have their own little kinks. It's
tell cat jokes or go crazy here. They are set off on their own at the bottom of the
page. Send me email if you know of any other good ones.
If you'd like to submit any jokes to us, please do.
Additions are always fun to have.
Please Send Us E-Mail
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains.
I think if you've got a t-shirt covered with bloodstains, you have a bigger
problem than just laundry.
Myths Explained (Please read
this if you plan on using articles from various web sites on the
internet. ESPECIALLY if you plan on borrowing from my website.)
- General BDSM Jokes
- DommeZilla's Thoughts On Decorating and Accessorizing With
D/s Implements(The Quintessential domme wannabe
The Cat in the Hood by Leviticus (If you
have an email for Leviticus, please let me know)
- Get to Know Our Staff A lighthearted tale of
how the staff of the Frugal Domme met
BDSM Purity Test
Vanilla-isms by Lady Green (permission applied
The Three Great Lies of S/M by Jay Wiseman, Lady Green,
Dale, et al. Used by permission of Jay Wiseman
- Realistic Cybersex
Southern Baptist Submission
15 Signs You're a Pervert From Somewhere on the Net
The Heterosexual Questionnaire Origin Unknown. It's
about time hets took a long hard look at their orientation.
- The Goddess Prayer
- News Flash From God Author Unknown
- Top Ten Ways to Tell You May be Too Old for BDSM by
Screamer, LadyNapa, WickdVixen and others at NapaFest 1998.
You Know You're Kinky When...
The Top Ten Worst Safewords by Screamer
- Top Ten Tips for Anal Play by the Demon Prince. Used by
- Master/Slave Humor by Tristilarn (if you have an email
for Tristilarn, please send it to me.)
Candlewax Tech Support by DominicL (used by permission)
Christian Hanky Code
- Simple Rules Chicks Don't Know
- Seminars For Men Unknown Author. Not D/s, I just like
both sides of this joke.
- Seminars For Women Unknown Author. Not D/s, I can
see myself here in places.
Gender Based English
- Advice For the Bride on Her Wedding Night Author Unknown
- Hazardous Materials Warning--W.O.M.A.N. Author Unknown
- Why Chocolate is Better Than a Man Author
- The Real Woman's Dictionary
- How to Shower Like a Woman
- How to Shower Like a Man
- The Men's Version of "The Rules"
- If She Had a Dick for a Day
- Relationship Contract Not a BDSM Joke, but hits home.
- Sexual Horoscope
- When Sex Doesn't Count
If Men Could Menstruate
Want to meet Domina's Cats?
by PHinCA (used by permission)
Have you ever wanted to have women at your beck and call?
Ever wanted to have sex without all of that annoying cuddling?
BE A DOM!!
That's right! For limited time we will train you in all of the finer aspects of
Domination. Some, but definitely not all of the points we will cover are:
1. What color outfit should you wear to be a Dom? ( you will just have to wait for the
class to find that out, sorry)
2. Where to find those submissive little fillies just waiting for a man like you!
3. How to say those special things in a Domly voice, such as, Spread 'em now, sl*t!
4. Our special whipping class featuring DomMiaCulpa who will be speaking on
"Making sure the sub doesn't move when ya hit her, or you could get sued,
really!" We are very proud he is back with his mom and able to join us this
5. How to make the sub do all of the things we haven't covered in this first
session...Featuring the always flexible Sheldon, "I can tie myself up and whip
myself, can you?" Bumfuchs.....
6. And a new class this year...and yes, this is just and experiment.......Fire play
and self bondage...we know that it sounds difficult but we think that if we all cooperate
we can do this.
7. How to master everything....and how to bluff i you forget something. "No, I
said you were supposed to untie your self, unlock the closet, let yourself out, and follow
me to the market..Don't you subs ever listen?"" I never said I would be right
8. How to punish effectively..(this class has been cut down to one hour because last
year after we covered the obvious 'hit 'em' we just sat around for a long time and missed
some important stuff.)
9. How to choose your subs..****hint*****they should be very new and live alone!
10. And most importantly...we are the only Dom school with our very own Help
line...This year it is manned by DomMia and his elderly mother. Dom Mia has graciously
agreed to host this hot line since that new jewelry on his ankle keeps him from leaving
home. Thanks to DomMia and Mis Gertrude, hope your bum is better now! Call 1-900-DOM DOWN
and ask for DomMia if Gerti doesn't seem to understand your question.