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HUMILIATION IDEAS

Version .03 Revised 20 Dec 95.

Copyright 1995 by Bob Forman btmbob@crl.com
Reprint for your own use. Repost on your favorite BBS if you so desire, but please post with this notice. Email me for permission to publish in any print media.

My friend Bob gave me permission to post this here. Before you read his great suggestions, I'd like to cover one or two other things.

Humiliation play is a part of D/s that is practiced by almost everyone in some form. Bob's suggestions are physical humiliation. There is also verbal humiliation, "You slut", "You pathetic worm", "You sissy" that are used by some couples. Others stick to the physical.

Bob gives you some good cautions about being careful where you do the physical things. My personal constraints depend on when and where the activity is likely to take place. SOMA (south of Market in San Francisco) at 3 am? Anyone there deserves what they see. Denny's at 2 PM? Very inconsiderate to do anything overt in front of children. I'd like to add that it's important to watch your submissive and make very sure that he/she is not being psychologically harmed by this activity. Sometimes you can detonate land mines that no one knew were there. Sometimes the discomfort from humiliation play builds up over a long period. PLEASE WATCH YOUR SUBMISSIVE FOR SIGNS OF STRESS. I know that name calling brings up nasty associations with my ex husband who was abusive, so I can't do that even from the top. Think about the damage you can do your bottom if they have similar associations.

Now, on to Bob's suggestions.

 

History and Controversy.

This started out as a humorous idea, a fun, fantasy type thing. I still mean it that way. There are many differing points of view about involving others *non-consensually in our play. I have argued in the past that during shopping scenes, from a customer service point of view, store clerks are consenting by the fact of their employment. Others have pointed out that those who are living an "outed" D/s lifestyle, have the right to dress and act as the please, they should not have to hide who and what they are. Another point of view is that we should not offend others by our actions in public.

Lady Green, in a short post, recently helped me clarify my own feelings. She mentioned how "pissed" she would be if she was dining with her kids and a D/s couple started acting out their fantasies in the restaurant. I am adopting her point of view. It is like the windows of most adult book/toy stores, painted over or covered. People walking by may know what is inside, but they are not being non-consensually exposed to all the pictures and toys. I cannot dictate what you should do. My suggestion is: play nice, "don't frighten the horses", and be considerate of the store clerks and all the rest of the "public" be they vanilla or Us.

This is just a list of the many things I have seen, collected, and requested from the net and other sources. Some suggestions are clearly for male subs. Others for female subs. Some will work for both. Of course anyone attempting to "do these things at home", should remember, safe, sane, consensual [that is sort of a toughie here huh], impact on careers, relationships, etc.etc. There are probably places we would be put in jail if we tried these things. There is also some concern about involving others in some of the scenes. Several suggested making arrangements ahead of time with the clerk or store.

My thanks to Eden, Lady Green, julie.winters, brandrog, Robert at TPE, Eightmeg, johnm23357, jk1223, madams, Ivana, Ms. C., Laurel, Babalon, AnneMs, Katharine, Stewart, John, and many others. And, please, remember, I am just the messenger ;-}.


 

I. Clothing the sub can be made to wear:

1. Black or dark colored bra under thin white shirt.
2. Black or dark colored panties under thin white pants or shorts.
3. Pantyhose worn with shorts.
4. Wear a frilly bikini at the beach. [or just the bottom.]
5. Naked or dressed in lingerie beneath a cape or raincoat.
6. Wearing an obviously feminine blouse (malesubs).
7. Little girls' dresses with high heels

8. Baby hats/bonnets.
9. Obvious female flat heel shoes, worn with everyday male clothing.
10. Standard male shirt, tie, jacket, with obvious female trousers.
11. Diapers, noisy plastic pants.
12. High heels.
13. Females, braless, with a sheer white or light colored blouse.
14. No underwear or lingerie, while wearing very thin white or light colored pants, shorts, or skirt.

 

II. Toys.

1. Slave collar ( can add owner tag.)
2. Narrow cat collar with bell.
3. Single handcuff on each wrist.
4. Butt plugs. Can be worn at a business meeting.
5. Feminine necklaces and bracelets.
6. Feminine rings.
7. Cock rings.
8. Baby pacifier. Carry or tied around neck. There is a doggie "squeak toy" like this available.
9. Baby rattle.
10. Nipple clips. [even better when seen through a sheer shirt or blouse]
11. Clip on earrings [for the pierced impaired.]
12. A "kitty" collar with bell, worn around the cock and balls.

 

 

III. Shopping scenes. [The assumption here is that it should be obvious the purchases are for the sub.]

1. Shopping for and trying on lingerie or dresses.
2. Trying on high heels while wearing nylons or pantyhose under male clothing. Works better at times other than Halloween.
3. Shopping for makeup, perfumes, and other female items.
4. At adult toy stores, purchasing buttplugs, cock rings, and BD gear, while she watches from a distance. [see #7]
5. Having a manicure or facial.
6. Buying adult incontinent supplies. [works for both genders]. Have the sub ask the clerk what size would fit best.
7. You are taken shopping for a new bondage outfit at one of those famous stores [insert shameless plug for Stormy Leather in San Francisco. Hey, forgive me, it is the one store I never miss when I am working in the City.]
8. She walks up to him in the check out line at the grocery store, holding a pair of pantyhose and says "these are what I picked up for you to wear tonight. Ok?"

 

IV. Other activities or scenes.

1. Must use "Mistress", Madame", or "Ma'am" at all times.
2. Handcuffed to the shopping cart, while shopping.
3. Handcuffed or tied to a pole outside store. (waiting for Mistress)
4. Handcuffed, hands in front or back, while shopping.
5. Metal cockrings, collars, chains, or leashes when going through airport security.
6. Having him get a good tan while wearing a bra, for later exposure at the beach or while washing the car without a shirt.
7. When at a restaurant, eating in an unusual way; being fed by the Mistress; using your non- dominant hand, no utensils.
8. Forbidden to speak in public.
9. Kneeling and kissing her boots, shoes, feet, or hands, at odd moments.
10. Kneeling, massaging her feet at the mall.

11. One arm tied or cuffed under your shirt. Or cuffed obviously behind you.
12. Pockets cut out of pants, and hands tied or cuffed to your thighs so you can't remove them from the pockets.
13. Binding your cock inside your pants with the string or rope end available to tug on.
14. Wearing a vibrating butt plug, with the controls in your pocket or available for her use. [still dreaming of a source for a remote control plug ;} A Vibrating Beeper was recently suggested]
15. Your right [left?] hand is tied to your cock and balls through a hole in your pocket. Might look like you are playing with yourself.
16. Being forced to masturbate beneath the table cloth while at a restaurant.
17. You both are sitting in a restaurant, dressed completely normal. She hands you a bag of 'stuff' and tells you to go to the restroom and change. You worry that everyone who enters will know what you are doing.
18. You are sitting drinking a beer or apple juice. When the glass is empty, she orders you to take it to the men's room and fill it up. You must return and then consume your "new" beverage with your meal.
19. You must take your beverage to the men's room, masturbate, and cum in the glass/cup. Return and then consume it, This would also work with the special sauce from that famous place.
20. You have to take your panties or underpants off, return to the table and hand them to her. She leaves them on the table in plain view.
21. Female subs in skirts, ordered to remove panties while seated at the table, hand them to the Mistress, then sit with naked ass on the seat.
22. On a special evening, as you travel around in a rented limousine, you are required to masturbate, trying not to be seen by the driver.
23. You are required to masturbate in your panties and continue wearing them, disregarding any spots that may appear.
24. You are diapered, taken out to a restaurant or bar and have to consume a large quantity of liquid, and are not allowed to use the restroom.
25. Traveling by car naked or dressed in lingerie.
26. You are obviously hand cuffed to the car as you travel, or are parked waiting for her to finish shopping. A key can be attached to a thread for emergency purposes.
27. Wearing lipstick or make up so that it appears you have just tried to remove it, but missed some.
28. Having your picture taken in Santa's lap at Christmas time.
29. She hands the controls of your vibrating plug, dildo to another person.
30. Having to show another person what you are wearing beneath the raincoat or cape.
31. Shining her boots at the mall.

32. She spanks you.
33. She slaps you.
34. You have to eat a doggie snack at lunch.
35. You have to kiss the ground whenever you leave a car.
36. You kiss the seat of her chair whenever she stands.
37. Ordering warm milk, or some other almost impossible item, claiming dietary need.
38. You have to eat a bite of something that has had an ash flicked on it.
39. The Mistress takes her female sub into the restroom and performs an on the spot vaginal/rectal examine, attaches a variety of 'toys' or clamps.
40. You are taken on a nature walk, tied to a tree, for a quickie spanking.
41. One hand is cuffed to the chair or table when you are eating.
42. At a cocktail lounge, you have to sit at the bar next to the serving station and you are cuffed to the rail.
43. You are instructed to eat a meal alone, reading a copy of Domination Directory International, other Dominatrix publication, or a transvestite magazine.
44. Smoking long, obviously feminine cigarettes.
45. In a parking lot or similar location, just before you will be safely hidden from spectators, she has you pause and wet yourself. You have to walk the last few yards with wet clothes.
46. On your 'x' anniversary, you renew your wedding vows, this time _you_ are dressed as the bride.
47. When you travel alone, you are required to leave lingerie or stockings drying in the bathroom.
48. You are instructed to buy a Halloween maid's costume. Whenever you travel you must leave it hanging in the hotel room along with your regular clothing. Leaving a pair of high heels out would work too.
49. Tape rough felt or very very fine sandpaper inside a shirt over the nipples. Effect should be stimulation, not damage.
50. Reciting all your rules in front of others, at her whim.
51. Temporary "slave" tattoos or other markings, hidden or not.
52. Always walking a foot or two behind her. speeding up to open doors.
53. She pays for everything, with possible comments like "Oh I never allow him to carry money!"
54. If no seats are available, puts you on all fours and sits on your back.
55. Doing some of the "hidden" little things like plugs, nipple clamps, cock rings, in the church of her/your choice.
56. Keeping your legs shaved.
57. Keeping the genitals shaved.
58. Having ribbons/bows braided into the genital hair.
59. Carrying a doll around, brushing its hair, playing with it.
60. When dining out, sub is not allowed to order, is fed little bites from her plate.
61. While she is sitting on a chair, you sit on pool deck beside her, even though there are chairs available next to you.
62. Wear a cock ring with a very long, strong, almost invisible thread attached. She can pull on this anytime. Use it like a leash.

I have not included all of the courteous, respectful "manners" things that have been suggested recently. In my view, these are things we should be doing whether we are in "role" or not. YMMV.

Now, to paraphrase _Hill Street Blues_ : "Be Careful and have fun out there"

Bob