Weddings

The difference between ritual and ceremony is that a ritual is done on a regular basis and a ceremony is a special one time occasion.

Yes, BDSM weddings happen.  I'm married to Feynman and we have been living happily ever after.  Here are a number of sites that have to do with weddings in various cultures. 

To insert BDSM imagery and influence into your ceremony, you can choose from a number of rituals, make your own ritual, add readings from various poets, or any of a number of things that may have meaning for you and your beloved, but not the vanilla's in the audience. 

You can also do something privately before or after the vanilla part of the ceremony that indicates your lifestyle situation, but does not need to be witnessed by everyone present.  Many old ethnic traditions can be used as BDSM rituals either as they are, or with a tiny bit of adjustment.  Look into the traditions of your ethnic backgrounds and see what is there.  You may be very surprised.

For dominant women marrying submissive men, it's often more difficult to put something in the ceremony that indicates that he is subservient to you.   Most traditions figure it the other way around.   You can, however, add anything to a wedding that you wish, so just get a bit inventive.  Maybe just inserting "obey" into his vows will do it.  Perhaps he gives you a gift during the ceremony.  If you are having only intimate friends at your ceremony, of course, it's  easy to do.  However, there are always ways to do it.  Ask your friends, look at the links here, think about gestures that mean something to the both of you, and nothing to those not "in the know."

Last update April 29, 2005

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