Rules

by Piph

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(service and station oriented)

1) do not enter or leave before the attending Dominant unless otherwise instructed. never step in front of Them when walking. always stay behind, off to the side, or in sight.

2) when in attendance or in use, ask permission to come and go, and be certain said Dominant is aware of your whereabouts.

3) pause before entrances, doorways, steps or exits if you are leading a group that has an Authority, directing others and allowing said Dominant to take the lead, unless otherwise instructed.

4) when in attendance, if given leave to be useful, be certain the glass is full, food is present, needs are met. ask, unless conversation does not allow a break in rhythm and you feel certain that the service you provide is a welcome or necessary one; use questions phrased as "may i" or "would You like" or "would it be pleasing" and don't forget to smile. do be gracious and graceful.

5) when in doubt, defer to the Dominant.

6) always ask to be generally useful. if you are given leave and see a lack, fill it. volunteer to help others. this shines well on you, community, and the attending Dominant.

7) know the Authroities around you (ex: the DM if at a Dungeon) and give proper respect.

8) if there is an issue (someone makes you feel uncomfortable) or a problem (he won't leave you alone) it is your personal responsibilty to alert the proper Authority (the DM, your Dominant, the One in charge at the time) to make Them aware of the situation or that Person cannot effectively do Their job. you are in Their jurisdiction and They need to know.

9) do not correct a Dominant, especially in public. give information, offer choices, rephrase the subject, but never correct a Dominant in public. it's smart to be mindful of your station and not to correct anyone. (drag them off to the side instead) the Dominant may not always be right, but the Dominant is never wrong according to you. give the Dominant the opportunity to explain or correct the problem or take it to Another.

10) use the following: "may i? please, thank you, excuse me, begging pardon, if you like, as you wish.... yes, Sir. yes, Ma'am.... it was my pleasure, i'm sorry, i am not comfortable with that... no offense taken and no harm done." and by all means smile and enjoy yourself (unless you are punished and then i would not recommend it if you like sitting down.)

11) do as you are told. if something impedes fulfilling a request, be patient. if the request cannot be honoured, explain quietly and pleasantly when given leave, and offer alternative service(s) if allowed. (unfortunately, there is no more ginger ale, Sir. would You care for coffee, tea, coca cola, root beer or water? we have those things available and i'd be more than happy to get them for You if You like.)

12) be mindful of leashes. never step between Owner and property attached by lead or leash for obvious reasons. be mindful not to step on leads or leashes or the handles. be cautious about unattended or loose leads and leashes (not everyone is always on the ball.)

13) stay a respectful distance from scenes. do not speak to those in scenes; They are in their own world and should only be disturbed for reasons determined by One of Authority (usually regarding health, safety, welfare or personal emergency).

14) if you wish an introduction to One you do not know, ask an attending Dominant or favoured sub/slave. in more casual circumstances, it is appropriate to approach and use best manners if the One you wish to speak to is free at the time.

15) please take care coming and going from an event or social gathering. best to go in groups and stay in well-lit areas. gentlemen please walk ladies to their cars and ladies stick together in groups.

16) do not accept invitations or make commitments on behalf of others or for yourself if you are owned, defer to said Dominant.

17) do not touch other people's toys or property without permission. it is rude and can be a health hazard.

18) please buy and read two books: 1) Ettiquette by Emily Post 2) Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Folgum. this will help immensely with thoughtfulness, manners, and social graces in general.

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reply: where formal training has been provided, a) one really should have written a curriculum. this assists in adding to knowledge and skills. it serves as a guide for the sub/slave and as an outline for the Instructing Dominant. if you don't atleast have a skills list, it might be a good idea to work on one. tranferrable skills do count. remember this is service and the more you have to offer, the more well-rounded you are, the more services you can provide for One you serve. please defer all education to the proper Authority for Instruction and/or Clearance when applicable.

b) not everyone is entitled to this information and it does not have to be provided to anyone the sub/slave chooses not to share this information with unless otherwise instructed by the proper Authority. c) it should be written clearly, as an outline, easy to follow, read and discuss. the sub/slave should be prepared to discuss it or have written info for review. be your own best representative. stay on top of what you have to offer and don't be afraid to take refresher courses or pursue added interests on your own if unowned, or with permission and direction if Owned or Instructed. NEVER LIE. never say you can do something you cannot. never say you know something you don't. it is fine to say "i have familiarity with this," but never claim to know well what you need to buy a vowel for. this effects decisions made on your behalf and impedes the Dominant doing His or Her job.

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d) a curriculum is not to be confused with a personal resume, which serves to provide the Dominant with personal info about you, including skills in curriculum if necessary, but more about statistics and outside interests, etc.e) references will vary from vanilla to work to people known in the community. if you have been trained by Trainers, it is imperative to know that you are not obligated to divulge the names or contact information of ANY Trainer to ANYONE for ANY REASON: discretion being the better part of valour. contact the Trainer yourself if possible and leave the decision to Them. if they cannot be located or the answer is no, offer to review the topic in question with the inquiring Dominant. it cannot be stressed enough that PRIVACY is to be ultimately RESPECTED. not everyone is out, situations change, people come and go. put the emphasis on you. (you learned it, you earned it.)

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you represent yourself, Anyone who trains or has trained you, the Dominant you attend or serve, the community you are included in, the House (if applicable) you serve. this dictates your behaviour and what is expected of you publicly and privately. please give care to manners, grace, appearance, presentation and attendance, and treat others with the respect that befits station and/or how you would wish to be treated.



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Last update February 17, 2001

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