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A Word From Domina on Rituals


There are no universally recognized ceremonies in the BDSM community.  This is hardly surprising since we have only really considered ourselves a community for the past ten years or so.  Up until then, San Francisco and New York had organizations that were not too hard to find, you might have found PEP or NLA if you were savvy, but most other cities had only tiny pockets of BDSMers, if they had any local "scene" at all.  Computers have played a huge part in helping people to find others like themselves.  

This usually meant that collaring conventions, ceremonies, rituals and such were practiced at most by the people who were in one small geographical area, and a group only 50 miles away might have a totally different set of rituals, if they had any at all. 

Thanks to the internet, we now have a lot more interaction from groups and people all around the world.  The number of books on BDSM is growing by leaps and bounds, and there are beginning to be some things we more or less agree upon.  Safe, Sane and Consensual being the idea that first comes to mind.

Given the number of emails I have been getting about ceremonies, I am going to start a section here on the Frugal Domme site on ceremonies.  If you would like to add a ceremony or idea for one that you have used, please send it to me at .   We don't pay for contributions, but you do have the satisfaction of knowing that others will benefit from your ideas. 

I will begin with a link to the Ceremony of the Roses which is a lovely ceremony at Castle Realm, and a description of the bonding ceremonies I went through with my slaves.  Lady Cynthia is contributing the text of her collaring ceremony with slave Tom.  Hopefully, there will be more contributions once things get going.

I will also be adding the ceremony used for the establishment of House Corwyn.  This may or may not be of interest to people out there, but again, it is a type of ceremony/ritual that is used by some of us.

Lady Cynthia has some insights on forming your own mythologies which I will write up in my "copious" spare time. 

Just remember, we are establishing our own myths/rites/cultural imperatives here.  There is no right or wrong way to do anything.  These ceremonies are offered as a guide for you to build your own ceremonies on.  They are not "the way to do it" they are "one way to do it." 


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This site is about an alternative sexuality.  There is no pornography on this site.  If you are looking for prurient content you will not find it here.  There is information on variant lifestyles and ways of living these lifestyles. By entering this site, you are affirming that you are a legal adult and that you are interested in this subject matter.  If this is not what you want, please take the exit button.

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Last update 12/26/03

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